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Deferred Gratification

A term that describes the situation of children of any age who have little or no work to do because their parents mindlessly provide all their needs.  Some of these misinformed (dysfunctional) parents believe that the more they can provide for their children, the better parents they are.  It is a wonderful feeling to give to and serve others if your motives are clean.  However, if we are giving just to make ourselves feel good and our giving is not beneficial to others or even harmful, we need to analyse our motives and make sure we are not just being codependent.  There is healthy giving and dysfunctional giving.  Analyse why you are giving to your children and if they are on teenage retirement, you might be doing more harm than good, so stop being codependent.   see: clean motives, codependent

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