This is love that is given only if certain conditions are met. It may be you want the person to spend time only with you, or to be/act a certain way when they are with you, or to even produce something of value for you before you will love them. An example is when you tell your child “I love you” when they go to bed on time. This love is expressed/given based on certain conditions, and is therefore not actually LOVE at all. Your children need to receive and feel UNconditional love from you.